


richie and the piss vase

by hybeera (orphan_account)



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Multi, Underage Drinking, groupchat, instagram au, mentions of domestic issues, mentions of drug use, mentions of eating disorders, reddie/stanlon/benverly, slowburn but with adhd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:20:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23081596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/hybeera
Summary: drawingsbybill: on jah lol my mum has had post-natal depression since georgie was born♥ beverly.m, eddielovesyou + 1trashmouth-tozier: bill the next time you say ‘on jah’ its over for u♥ beverly.m, eddielovesyou
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier, Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris, Beverly Marsh & Stanley Uris, Bill Denbrough/Audra Phillips, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Mike Hanlon/Stanley Uris, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris
Comments: 9
Kudos: 42





	richie and the piss vase

the kinsey scale  
05:55 

trashmouth-tozier: stan showed up to work wearing uggs and now i have paperwork to fill out  
trashmouth-tozier: img.5842  
♥ eddielovesyou, beverly.m + 3

eddielovesyou: HAHAHAHAHA  
♥ trashmouth-tozier 

trashmouth-tozier: dress code violations are no laughing matter eduardo.

eddielovesyou: So you did learn from the crocs incident?  
♥ trashmouth-tozier

trashmouth-tozier: the croc-hole scars serve as a reminder  
♥ eddielovesyou, beverly.m + 4 

the kinsey scale  
09:33

StanleyUris: Richie cries making the roster.  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, beverly.m + 4

trashmouth-tozier: did i hear u wrong or do u want a written warning?  
♥ StanleyUris, beverly.m + 4

StanleyUris: I want my break at 12.  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, beverly.m

trashmouth-tozier: k  
♥ beverly.m, StanleyUris

Notifications:  
10:13 | eddielovesyou posted a photo

eddielovesyou  
Maine, USA  
img.5844  
eddielovesyou: ugly sweater contest  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, beverly.m and 302 others  
77 Comments 

trashmouth-tozier: my stepson is so 🤤🤤  
♥ 29

eddielovesyou: @trashmouth-tozier I have never met this man before in my entire life  
♥ 2

beverly.m: @trashmouth-tozier beep beep richie  
♥ 6

Notifications:  
10:15 | drawingsbybill also commented on eddielovesyou’s post

drawingsbybill: are those my missing stan smiths  
♥ 37

the kinsey scale  
10:37 

drawingsbybill: is anyone actually going to greta’s party?  
drawingsbybill: i was invited lmfao

benjaminbunny: I figured bev would want to crash it

trashmouth-tozier: yeah ns bill she’s wanted to fuck since u wore that thrasher shirt to bower’s return from juvie celebration  
♥ drawingsbybill, beverly.m + 2

beverly.m: i still don’t forgive bill for leaving his house looking like that to attend and event WITH ME  
♥ drawingsbybill, trashmouth-tozier

benjaminbunny: img.5845

beverly.m: ’bring and drink your own. i am NOT supplying’ she literally stole from wentworths liquor cabinet  
♥ trashmouth-tozier

trashmouth-tozier: how are 278 people supposed to fit in her house with mr keenes collection of vulnerable tweens making the basement inaccessible  
♥ drawingsbybill, beverly.m + 2

drawingsbybill: if i see georgie there his life is over  
drawingsbybill: i mean at the party not in the basement  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, beverly.m + 4 

benjaminbunny: Wait so r we going?

beverly.m: yes i want to throw up in her bathtub  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, benjaminbunny + 4 

eddielovesyou: I’m covering her shift that night. Now I know why.  
♥ trashmouth-tozier

benjaminbunny: No sober straw because we’re crashing at mike’s?

beverly.m: yeah

drawingsbybill: on jah

trashmouth-tozier: my dad can get the drinks

benjaminbunny: That’s unfortunate.  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, beverly.m + 4 

Notifications:  
12:02 | StanleyUris commented on your post: First of all, I wasn’t held back a yea...

trashmouth-tozier  
Maine, USA  
img.5846  
Tagged: StanleyUris  
trashmouth-tozier: i’ve known this jewish-american princess since middle school and we’ve shared everything since, including an eating disorder and a mild oxycotin dependancy. i never had classes with stan (because he was held back a year) but i’ve made as many moments in his life as close to hell as possible. love you stanley the manley xoxo  
♥ eddielovesyou, beverly.m + 247  
2 Comments

StanleyUris: First of all, I wasn’t ‘held back a year’- I couldn’t attend school because of an autoimmune disease and subsequentially had to repeat the grade.  
♥ 5

trashmouth-tozier: @StanleyUris excuses, excuses  
♥ 13

the kinsey scale  
12:49

benjaminbunny: My mums boyfriend just venmo’d me $50  
benjaminbunny: img.5847  
♥ eddielovesyou, m.hanlon2001 + 4

m.hanlon2001: Did you catch them banging on the couch again?  
♥ eddielovesyou, benjaminbunny + 4

benjaminbunny: I’d rather not say  
♥ eddielovesyou, m.hanlon2001 + 4

eddielovesyou: SKSKSKSKSKSKSKSK

beverly.m: i can’t believe eddie is a vsco girl

trashmouth-tozier: why not? you’ve seen his instagram  
♥ beverly.m, m.hanlon2001 + 3

eddielovesyou: Shut up dickhead  
♥ trashmouth-tozier

trashmouth-tozier: ✨🦋✨🦋sorry eds ✨🦋✨🦋  
♥ beverly.m, m.hanlon2001 + 3

beverly.m: guys i just had the cutest flashback to when we were like 14 and they would give us lil glasses of wine at jade of the orient  
♥ eddielovesyou, m.hanlon2001 + 3

trashmouth-tozier: i dont remember that  
♥ beverly.m, drawingsbybill 

beverly.m: do you remember snorting xanax of the toilet lid in their bathroom ?  
♥ eddielovesyou, drawingsbybill + 3

eddielovesyou: I think richie would be dead by now if not for madatory urine samples  
♥ trashmouth-tozier

trashmouth-tozier: lol when my mum drug tested me last year it came back saying i was on meth and she hit me with a sandal until the doctor explained it was my adhd meds  
♥ beverly.m, eddielovesyou

beverly.m: are you sure they didn’t accidentally switch the blood sample with patrick hockstetters?

StanleyUris: Too soon.  
♥ eddielovesyou

drawingsbybill: i wish i could still get genuinely excited about being wine drunk :(  
♥ eddielovesyou, trashmouth-tozier 

eddielovesyou: I wish i could still get genuinely excited  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, m.hanlon2001 + 4 

trashmouth-tozier: i wish i could still get genuinely  
♥ eddielovesyou, m.hanlon2001 + 4 

drawingsbybill:  
@audraphillips  
147k followers 98 posts  
drawingsbybill: she commented on my tiktok  
♥ trashmouth-tozier

trashmouth-tozier: pics or it didn’t happen  
♥ drawingsbybill

drawingsbybill: img.5847  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, beverly.m + 4

trashmouth-tozier: finally, bill is vital to something promising. i’d been on the verge of kicking him out of the group  
♥ drawingsbybill

beverly.m: you’re not allowed to kick him out till georgie is old enough to hang out with us without supervision  
♥ trashmouth-tozier

StanleyUris: Literally everyone but you and Richie are allowed to.  
♥ drawingsbybill, eddielovesyou

beverly.m: WHA T  
♥ trashmouth-tozier

drawingsbybill: its called BABYSITTING  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, eddielovesyou

beverly.m: i understand richie but why can’t i 

trashmouth-tozier: for the record bill you have held my sister more times than her father has  
♥ StanleyUris, beverly.m + 3

freshman baseball camp 2017  
14:05

trashmouth-tozier: why can’t bev babysit georgie

drawingsbybill: my mum won’t let her 

trashmouth-tozier: shannon is such a shitcunt 

StanleyUris: Bill do you have klonopin?  
♥ drawingsbybill

Notifications:  
14:21 | beverly.m made a post

beverly.m  
Maine, USA  
img.5849, img.5850, img.5851  
Tagged: eddielovesyou, drawingsbybill, benjaminbunny  
beverly.m: merry january  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, benjaminbunny + 409  
93 comments

trashmouth-tozier: happy easter  
♥ 28

Notifications:  
14:26 | greta.k.xoxo also commented on beverly.m’s post 

greta.k.xoxo: @drawingsbybill 😍😍

trashmouth-tozier: @greta.k.xoxo 🤡🤡

Notifications:  
14:28 | benjaminbunny also commented on beverly.m’s post

benjaminbunny: Happy new year 😘  
♥ 67

beverly.m: @benjaminbunny you too!  
♥ 2

beverly.m  
14:30

trashmouth-tozier: img.5852  
trashmouth-tozier: this is the least platonic thing i’ve seen in my entire life 

beverly.m: shut the up fuck  
♥ trashmouth-tozier  
beverly.m: he’s actually going for it 

trashmouth-tozier: you like him back you crazy bitch

beverly.m: yeah but he like  
beverly.m: has feelings?  
♥ trashmouth-tozier  
beverly.m: being w/ bill was ez bc it was just us being bros with included mutual masturbation  
beverly.m: but ben. actually cares about me- he wants to open doors for me and like kiss me and shit 

trashmouth-tozier: he’s had the yearbook page you signed in his wallet for five years 

beverly.m: FUCK  
♥ trashmouth-tozier

greta.k.xoxo  
14:34

greta.k.xoxo: img.5853  
greta.k.xoxo: wdym lol

the kinsey scale  
14:39

trashmouth-tozier: img.5854  
trashmouth-tozier: the clownery...  
♥ beverly.m, m.hanlon2001 + 3

beverly.m: why r u being mean to my BEST FRIEND >:(  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, drawingsbybill + 4

drawingsbybill: how will i tell her i would rather eat pencil shavings  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, beverly.m

trashmouth-tozier: with a stutter?  
♥ beverly.m, drawingsbybill + 4

eddielovesyou: Bahahahahaha  
♥ trashmouth-tozier

drawingsbybill: awfully bold words for someone depending on my relationship with audra to become tiktok famous  
♥ eddielovesyou, trashmouth-tozier

trashmouth-tozier: awfully bold words for someone within ass-eating distance  
♥ drawingsbybill 

eddielovesyou: WHAT  
♥ trashmouth-tozier

beverly.m: beep beep richie  
♥ eddielovesyou, drawingsbybill + 4

benjaminbunny: What qualifies as ass-eating distance?  
♥ trashmouth-tozier

trashmouth-tozier: why dear ben, i am so glad you asked!

m.hanlon2001 removed trashmouth-tozier from  
the chat

beverly.m: i am routinely rewarded by the fact mike is admin  
♥ eddielovesyou, m.hanlon2001 + 3

the kinsey scale  
15:28

m.hanlon2001 added  
trashmouth-tozier to  
the chat

drawingsbybill: uh oh stinky  
♥ beverly.m, trashmouth-tozier + 4

trashmouth-tozier: if it were not for the laws of this land i would have struck you down long ago  
♥ beverly.m, drawingsbybill + 4

beverly.m: stans mum just called me to make sure i have somewhere to stay tonight which is more than i can say for my own mother so kudos to her  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, m.hanlon2001 + 4 

drawingsbybill: i can’t believe in a group of 7 stan is the only person with two fully functional parents  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, m.hanlon2001 + 4 

beverly.m: goodforher.gif  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, m.hanlon2001 + 4 

eddielovesyou: I don’t even have one lmao

m.hanlon2001: Same bro

beverly.m: that is the most pained lmao ever eddie  
♥ trashmouth-tozier

drawingsbybill: on jah lol my mum has had post-natal depression since georgie was born  
♥ beverly.m, eddielovesyou + 1

trashmouth-tozier: bill the next time you say ‘on jah’ its over for u  
♥ beverly.m, eddielovesyou

benjaminbunny: i love my mum  
♥ beverly.m, eddielovesyou + 4

beverly.m: she’s such a milf !!  
♥ eddielovesyou, trashmouth-tozier + 4

eddielovesyou: Why is it bens mum is actually hot but richie doesn’t torment him for it  
♥ beverly.m, trashmouth-tozier

trashmouth-tozier: i value the ability to diagnose and treat made up illnesses over looks  
♥ beverly.m, benjaminbunny + 3

eddielovesyou: I literally hate richie  
♥ trashmouth-tozier

confessional  
16:10

trashmouth-tozier: my life would be so much easier if eddie was allowed to hang out with people besides bill and ben

StanleyUris: Also his life would be easier but go off.  
♥ beverly.m

beverly.m: he suffers from the new age disease that is life360  
♥ StanleyUris

trashmouth-tozier: why won’t god let me kiss a cute boy in a room that doesn’t smell like pot pourri 

beverly.m: because god IS sonia kaspbrak?  
♥ StanleyUris

StanleyUris: Natural selection?  
♥ beverly.m

the kinsey scale  
16:21

drawingsbybill: why does eddie walk so fucking fast i think i lost him  
♥ beverly.m, trashmouth-tozier

trashmouth-tozier: consider: HE lost YOU, and it was his plan all along...  
♥ eddielovesyou, drawingsbybill

eddielovesyou: I’m just used to walking at richies insane pace  
♥ beverly.m, drawingsbybill

beverly.m: yeah richie calm down its not a fucking race  
♥ eddielovesyou, drawingsbybill

trashmouth-tozier: obsessed with the fact my pace has somehow influenced eddies  
♥ beverly.m

eddielovesyou: :/  
♥ beverly.m, trashmouth-tozier + 4

Notifications:  
16:56 | drawingsbybill made a post

drawingsbybill  
Maine, USA  
img.5853  
drawingsbybill: thought i’d draw my favourite e-girl @audraphillips  
♥ audraphillips, benjaminbunny + 104

18 Comments

trashmouth-tozier: what the fuck u said i was ur favourite e-girl  
♥ 16

Notifications:  
17:05 | audraphillips also commented on drawingsbybill’s post 

audraphillips: Wow!!! This is so good 😊  
♥ 59

drawingsbybill: only because it looks like you 😉  
♥ 9

the kinsey scale  
17:09

trashmouth-tozier: bill stop being a hetero on main  
♥ drawingsbybill, m.hanlon2001 + 4 

drawingsbybill: uwu?

m.hanlon2001: You drop that anime shit right now  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, drawingsbybill + 4 

benjaminbunny: Bill we discussed this  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, m.hanlon2001 + 4

trashmouth-tozier: i never thought i’d say it but  
trashmouth-tozier: i think we’re too cool to hang out with bill  
♥ drawingsbybill, m.hanlon2001 + 4 

drawingsbybill: you said it very clearly in that speech when u topped the drama cohort last semester  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, m.hanlon2001 + 4

m.hanlon2001: Before or after he got kicked off stage for the... poem?  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, drawingsbybill + 4

eddielovesyou: Let the record show that Richie is banned from my home for this reason  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, drawingsbybill + 4

m.hanlon2001: I feel like Richie has been banned from your house for more than a month  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, drawingsbybill + 4

eddielovesyou: Well he’s been discouraged from visiting for roughly ten years but its official now  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, drawingsbybill + 4

trashmouth-tozier: yeah she called the police on me last week for ‘trespassing’  
♥ eddielovesyou

eddielovesyou: Good stay off my property  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, drawingsbybill + 4

trashmouth-tozier: eddie spaghetti gets off a good one!  
♥ beverly.m, drawingsbybill + 3

confessional  
17:18

StanleyUris: I have literally no idea why Eddie doesn’t love you.  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, beverly.m

beverly.m: 👀👀

trashmouth-tozier: fuck u stanley i hope you get sneezed on  
♥ beverly.m, StanleyUris

StanleyUris: Fuck you, Richard, I hope your roaccutane prescription falls through.  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, beverly.m

beverly.m: i love you both so much it hurts  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, StanleyUris

trashmouth-tozier: k  
♥ beverly.m

StanleyUris: That’s cool and all, but did anyone ask?  
♥ beverly.m

the kinsey scale  
17:34

eddielovesyou: Stan 

StanleyUris: Yes?

eddielovesyou: What movie are we watching tonight

StanleyUris: Annie Hall.  
♥ trashmouth-tozier

eddielovesyou: STAN  
♥ trashmouth-tozier  
eddielovesyou: PLEASE.  
♥ trashmouth-tozier

benjaminbunny: Why does stan always get to pick the movie 

m.hanlon2001: Group member of the week gets to choose the movie

benjaminbunny: How is group member of the week determined  
♥ eddielovesyou, trashmouth-tozier + 2

beverly.m: mike gets to pick group member of the week because movie night is at his place and every week without fail he picks stan  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, benjaminbunny + 2

trashmouth-tozier: please note that i am not allowed to provide commentary on why this choice is made because stan will hurt me  
♥ beverly.m, eddielovesyou + 2

StanleyUris: What’s wrong with Annie Hall?

m.hanlon2001: Nothing 

eddielovesyou: Stan we’re gay  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, benjaminbunny + 2

drawingsbybill: i’m straight 

trashmouth-tozier: BILL WE KNOW  
♥ eddielovesyou, benjaminbunny + 3

StanleyUris  
17:41

StanleyUris: Richie. He basically knows at this point and he’s just being nice.

trashmouth-tozier: you know how people always tell you to read social cues

StanleyUris: Yes, you do.

trashmouth-tozier: well stop you’re fucking terrible at it  
trashmouth-tozier: the list of times i’ve caught him staring at ur ass is longer than my wang

StanleyUris: Thats not difficult.

trashmouth-tozier: stan you moron  
trashmouth-tozier: remember when you had to sit on his lap in bens car after my party and he got hard

StanleyUris: How do you even know about that?  
StanleyUris: He was drunk.

trashmouth-tozier: THATS NOT WHAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLES DICKS WHEN THEY’RE DRUNK

StanleyUris: IT WAS LAST YEAR.

trashmouth-tozier: IT WAS 2 MONTHS AGO

the kinsey scale  
18:01

eddielovesyou: Who wants to drive me to mike’s  
♥ trashmouth-tozier

trashmouth-tozier: it depends  
trashmouth-tozier: is your mum coming?

eddielovesyou: Ben is taking me.  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, benjaminbunny + 4

beverly.m: richie ur taking me and stan 

trashmouth-tozier: why would i do something like that

StanleyUris: Because you pissed in my mum’s vase.  
♥ eddielovesyou, beverly.m + 3

beverly.m: dvisshhshdajjadk  
♥ eddielovesyou

trashmouth-tozier: STAN  
♥ beverly.m  
trashmouth-tozier: YOU PROMISED  
♥ beverly.m

StanleyUris: Never cross me again.  
♥ eddielovesyou, beverly.m + 3

eddielovesyou: How did he cross you 

beverly.m: he hit on the rabbi  
♥ StanleyUris, trashmouth-tozier

trashmouth-tozier: i can’t help it mr uris has a silver fox thing going for him its very sexy  
♥ beverly.m

StanleyUris: I am no longer comfortable being in a vehicle with this individual.  
♥ eddielovesyou, beverly.m + 4

m.hanlon2001: I’ll drive you stan :)  
♥ beverly.m, trashmouth-tozier

StanleyUris: You would come and get me to take me to your own house?

m.hanlon2001: Yeah of course 

confessional  
18:11

trashmouth-tozier: stans gonna catch some cock  
♥ beverly.m

StanleyUris: What drove you to say it like that?

beverly.m: its true ur gonna gett ittt  
♥ trashmouth-tozier

StanleyUris: I’m going with you guys.

trashmouth-tozier: nope ur officially banned from my car  
♥ beverly.m

StanleyUris: Rich, don’t be a bitch.  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, beverly.m

beverly.m: ur a poet and u did in fact know it i’ve read ur journals  
♥ trashmouth-tozier

trashmouth-tozier: not getting u. not kidding.  
♥ beverly.m

the kinsey scale  
18:14

StanleyUris: Yes please, thank-you, Mike.  
♥ trashmouth-tozier, beverly.m, m.hanlon2001


End file.
